Getting invited to a wedding or funeral is a sign your relationship with someone has deepened.
Weddings — the red envelope is real currency
Giving a red-envelope cash gift is expected. Casual friends: ¥300–500. Close friends: ¥800–1000. Never give ¥400 — "four" sounds like "death." Give an even number (600, 800) for double happiness.
The wedding flow
A Chinese wedding runs: fetching the bride (bridesmaids set up "door-blocking" games), the ceremony (tea offered to parents), the banquet (the newlyweds toast table by table). Don't wear white.
Funerals — strict rules
Wear dark, plain clothes. The cash gift is usually an odd number (¥101, ¥201). Stay solemn.
What to say
Offer condolences — "sorry for your loss," or "take care of yourself." Don't ask for details.
Regional differences
Customs vary a lot. When in doubt, watch the other guests and follow them.